RoLLin' with my HomIes....homage to CLueLess and Brittaney Murphy...I so heart YOu!
Oh, okay, like OMG...Ashton Kutcher, like where the freak are you? You better be planning to make an appearance like pretty freakin SOON.
Like okay, for those that read my blog yesterday, realized that I am encountering a problem with one of my colleagues at the place I work for money aka "MY J-O-B". So like anyways, I like talked to "the DUDE" yesterday..."the DUDE" happens to be my boss and happens to be the CEO of like this totally major company. I like talked to him, about how she was unprofessional and personally a BE-Otch, yesterday he swept it under the carpet. Very characteristic of "the DUDE".
Yesterday during my blog I affectionately nicknamed her "Monster Cookies" (please refer to yesterdays blog for a working definition). I could have totally called her FIRE CROTCH...after Lindsey Lohan, because like, she could totally be her older sister! Multiply Lindsey's snarkiness by 10,000, she is the ultimate BE-OTch!
So, very like me unspoken and feisty, I revisited the situation with "the DUDE" today to express my dissatisfaction with the situation and his resolution. "the DUDE" resolved to pretend like it never happened...that was cool for him, like, the freakin shiznick didn't happen to him! Thank you very much!
Okay, so this is totally where my life took a very unfair turn...I asked "the DUDE" if I could talk to him and at the time I was like so, EmoTional. "the DUDE" like informs me he can talk. I try to totally express to him why I am so frustrated, how she disrespected me. And like, well, he is totally on some NEW AGE bullshit...his NEW AgE BullShit consists of him telling me that "no one can disrespect you, it's all about the way you process what the person is relaying".
(PAUSE)
I am so like, Ashton, stop playing! He then goes on to tell me, that I am waiting for a white knight to intervene....now I am really, like, ASHTON WHERE ARE YOU??? He then holds his hands up like Jazz Fingers and totally intertwines them and says "see you have a communication problem, you need to talk to her directly maybe take a walk together and talk things out".
OKAY, ENOUGH is ENOUGH, WHERE IS THE CAMERA...EVERYONE START LAUGHING...THIS SO HAS TO BE THE BEST PUNK'D EVER. ASHTON I HEART U...MAKE THIS END, LIKE SO, NOW PLEASE.
My head totally started to ache and I thought I was going to spontaneously combust and then it happened...I escape to the deep, dark recess of my closet aka my mind. Although this time it was dark, it was bright and I so began to hear John Tesh's music playing (not that his music is bad. totally no disrespect Mr. Tesh) and all of a sudden I was standing on top of a mountain with a white loose linen outfit on with my hands raised in peace.
At that moment, I so had an epiphany, the epiphany was that "the DUDE" is freakin gone...and then I see "the DUDE" totally running in green pastures with the same white linen suit on as me, holding none other than John Tesh's hand smiling....oh dude, wait...now they are picking flowers.
Oh, snap back to reality, I am still sitting in "the DUDE's" office and he is staring at me with a blank look. I realize that this isn't PUNK'd although I so totally wished it were and this is my reality. My boss aka "the DUDE" is so like the ultimate freakin' John Tesh clone. I totally see he is riding the NEW AgE Movement, I so hope he doesn't crash in burn, someone deserves to be happy.
So, I quietly got up and went back to my office and I felt John Tesh spirit looking down at me, so, I like scheduled the meeting with FIRE CROTCH and we are going to take a walk tomorrow and "chat" about our differences. Like how it is so not appropriate to scream at your colleagues and drop the "F" bomb like a gazillion times in a conversation! Like so not COOL!!!
Anywho...the bright spot in my day today comes from this awesome designer check out this totally awesome ring.
I am so diggin your stuff.
Like, the people out there who are reading my blogs...Tell me what you think....about anything!
Like Ciao Bella, B-A-B-Y!!!
Talk to you tomorrow...PRECISELY!!!
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